Includes index.

Aging ain't for sissies -- How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? -- Six sure signs I'm aging -- Old age! Are we there yet? -- Strollers, cars, and wheelchairs! -- I'm not old; I'm 45 plus shipping and handling -- Not only is my short-term memory bad, so is my short-term memory -- Why can't I lose weight like I lose my keys, phone, and sex drive? -- Strong is the new skinny -- Become the CEO of your health -- Think like a doctor -- A heart-to-heart about your heart -- Keep moving! It's harder for the undertaker to catch up with you -- We're basically a houseplant with more complicated emotions: why we need water -- Sometime I laugh so hard, tears run down my leg -- Sleeping Beauty was on to something -- Did you know chocolate makes your clothes shrink? -- Will it matter five years from now? -- Life would be easier with piñatas placed throughout the day -- Mistakes & regrets: it's time to let them go! -- When there are lumps in the road -- Decline to decline -- Friends are therapists you can drink with -- An attitude of gratitude -- Be the person you want to have lunch with -- Be happy: it drives people crazy -- I want to be cremated: it's my last chance for a smokin' hot body -- It's never too late to be the person you want to be.